The Devil’s Details: Thanksgiving, Sugar Cookie Dough, and Garth

As November comes to a close, it takes with it one of my favorite holidays: Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is an odd little day, as really it’s exclusive to America. Sure Canadians try to celebrate it, but we all know they are just trying to be accepted by US. (Pun intended) This Thanksgiving was a memorable one, from the Foster’s Rick Roll at the Macy’s parade, to my realization that mixing warm cranberry relish with warm turkey-basted stuffing is delicious; I also came upon a little thing called sugar cookie dough.

Pillsbury’s sugar cookie dough, to be precise. Now yes, this stuff is far from new. But generally my family makes cookies from scratch and only touches down on the Dough Boy for croissants and muffins (which in turn are just weak excuses to consume even more butter before dessert), and this year my sister bought a tube of this stuff before coming by “just in case.” (For the record we had  three cakes, several gallons of ice cream, tea from all over the place, and several pots of coffee. We had enough sugar on hand to run a small bakery for a week, and she brings extra “just in case.” Dessert is serious business.) After we were overstuffed from whatever mix of protein, glucose, and carbs we chose, the remaining food was divvied up, and I was lucky enough to get the tube-o-cookies.

Now, lazy is a very strong word. I prefer to call it “relaxed.” While I was “relaxing” back at home I ended up snagging some of the dough raw in between commercials. Wait, no… I had my girlfriend get me some dough while the commercials were on. What!? It’s not like she would have missed anything anyway. Ooo! ShamWOW! Mystify me with this magical cloth! Is is felt? Is it fleece? How did the large cola puddle disappear from under the rug when the camera changed? How can people honestly buy a product with the word “Sham” in it? And where the hell is Billy Maze? (I got ten bucks that says Maze will OxyClean ShamWow Vince’s clock.)

And that brings me to tonight’s Wør…Detail.

Da War Maker

If you have spent even the slightiest amount of time as a Greenskin, you should know about Da War Maker. For starters the thing is HUGE! It’s a ginormous M.C. Escher-like wooden contraption that is always at work making an equally epic-sized pile of saw dust. In case you haven’t seen this badass buzzsaw, get to Greenskin Chapter 2 quest hub pronto.

Escheresque is probably the best way to describe this thing.  In typical Greenskin fashion, it’s bulky, far from a solid construction, and three times the size it needs to be.  So what if the top is spewing smoke and fire and this thing is made from a combustible material!  Der’ orkz!  They didn’t use smarts when they made it!  They used brute force and a small army of defenseless goblins.

Whenever you do go to see it, I very highly recommend standing on the pile of saw dust, turn up your speakers and just stare at the blade for at least two cycles.  Eventually the blade lifts up and begins to rise and the sounds get quiet, like in a movie before a big explosion.  Then, upon reaching it’s apex it pauses, and comes flying back down.  Whirring blades, grinding of metal, the high pitched whine of wood being reshaped; it’s original design not matching up to the Da Waaaghboss’s expectations.  It’s quite a cheap rush of excitement, very similar to watching a low-flying plane swooping over you.  Party on, Wayne.

Dangerously constructed buildings with large spinning blades and mechanical grinding sounds.  If that isn’t a perfect Detail, I don’t know what is.  For the guys, this place is a nice spot to take it easy until a scenario pops.  For the ladies, it might prove to be a place of study; to figure out how the male mind works.  Personally mine is a Gordian Knot of complexity and insanity.  If you need any proof just try and follow the thought process of this article.  I dare ya.

WEEKLY HAIKUS!

Sugar Cookie dough
So very sweet and tasty
I heart Pillsbury.

Pillsbury’s Dough-Boy,
Just what Dough is he made of?
He has yet to mold.

Pasty has to mold…
And it sure as hell can’t talk!
He’s a damned Alien!